I used to be an active participant in ATN’s list serves—heck, I used to benefit as much or more than I contributed. I needed the outlet when I was still in the thick of parenting Amy … Currently, I am not reading our lists regularly, although I do check in as often as I can. I simply can’t keep up with the exploding number of new members, new lists, and new crises.
I also occasionally visit another community forum, although I have essentially backed out of that one as well. But upon occasion, I will pop in to see if there are any parents who might be in need of ATN’s support and willing to access the help. The latter part is the issue … while there are many parents on this board who are addressing and researching attachment and trauma issues in their children, there are many other parents who would rather their child have something else—anything else—than attachment problems.
Recently a mom posted about how her early elementary-aged son (adopted 4 years ago) is “making her crazy with his lack of listening.” She asks him to go upstairs to his room and bring down clothes he will need for school tomorrow. He returns with his pajamas on. She asks him a second time, and he returns wearing a superhero costume. She asks him a third time and he comes down in a completely new “regular” outfit that he has already gotten dirty—still without the clothes Mom asked for the very first time. His sister joins the fun, and offers to help him … and together they come back downstairs yet again, this time with the little boy wearing the clothes he had on at the beginning of this ordeal. Still no school clothes for tomorrow. Lastly, this mom states the children wear a uniform to school, so all this kiddo had to do was get a clean uniform shirt and pants.
She also says this happens over, and over, and over.
Now here’s the rub … every single response to this mom—nine so far—has told her this is normal. Some have even said it reminds them of their husbands! Many think this is “age and stage”.
I didn’t post a response. I used to, but I don’t any more. I would be the Lone Ranger among all these other moms … not that it would prevent me from speaking up, but I have less energy these days for continually swimming upstream. I don’t think this is normal behavior. What do you folks think?