In this blog, I wrote about Andrew Bridge, a former foster child who became an attorney and now advocates on behalf of foster children and kids in the system. Andrew has made it his mission to address the deficiencies in how America approaches its troubled children—a passion I share. I indicated in my previous blog that I was looking for him; therefore, I was pleased to receive an email from him a couple of days ago. Apparently, he reads the blog! (In my Googling to find contact info for him, the website for his book never appeared; it had all the info I needed, including a direct email address. Go figure!)

His book, Hope’s Boy, will be released in early February. He is sending me a copy, and I will review the entire book for you. I thoroughly enjoyed my brief conversation with Andrew on the phone yesterday, and we hope to have more communications at the completion of his book tour. I wanted to share part of what he told me yesterday.

I started by telling him how many foster and adoptive parents I know who would have leapt at the chance to incorporate a child into their family who was as motivated and intact as he was/is, and how it distressed me to learn he had foster parents who lived with him for a decade and didn’t care about him. I then told him a very brief summary of my family’s history with Amy, and my perspective that we really hadn’t impacted her at all. He said that even though we had only spoken briefly on the phone, he suspected that Amy entered adulthood more prepared than she would have been had she not been in our family. I thanked him for that positive response, but then said it felt sort of like someone telling me I had only 90% totaled my car, instead of 100% totaled it. I said other folks had said the same thing, and I know down deep that it is true, but it still doesn’t feel very good.

He then told me a snippet about his life. After graduating from Harvard, he became a Fulbright Scholar. At the completion of those impressive events in his life, he said he told himself he had “made it” … he was “safe” now. Three months later, he was diagnosed with lymphoma. So much for being safe. He talked about how that challenge was especially difficult for him, because what do you most need when you are critically ill? A family! And he had none. A couple of close friends shuttled him back and forth to chemotherapy, held barf bags in front of his face, and saw him through that very difficult time. But they were peers … young adults in their mid-20’s, just like him. Not parents.

Andrew’s story struck me deeply, and reminded me that God never promised us fair or equitable. While as a human, I need to see some payoff, from a truly Christian perspective, we shouldn’t have to have one. However, as Julie commented recently (echoing my thoughts as well) Christ was the only one who pulled that off. As I type this, Stephanie is in Greece, following in the footsteps of Paul—Thessalonia and Philippi and other awesome places. Paul did an amazing job, too, of giving indefinitely without getting …

I guess we fill ourselves up however we can and try and practice the suggestions I posted a few days ago … how to choose to be happy. Certainly, Andrew Bridge has a positive attitude about his life. He commented that he was “lucky” and no doubt he had some breaks in his life. However, he also made some of his own luck. He did what he needed to do to make something of his life. We both agreed that his knowledge that his mother loved him, even though she was so mentally ill she could not parent him, was the foundation for his ability to move forward with his life. He had a good attachment to his mom.

As I was writing this blog, the doorbell rang and it was an overnight delivery of Andrew’s book! So I will read it as soon as possible and get back to you!

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