What have you decided is your next book?

An Unlit Path chronicles our journey on a path that we did not understand. We learned only from our mistakes and played defense in a game wherein we were not even sure of the rules. The next book—working title—Finding Light On The Path will offer insight from foster and adoptive families—parents and children, from Family Court judges, from accused and convicted adoptive parents, from caseworkers, psychologists, psychiatrists, law enforcement officials, adoption agencies, etc. on what each think will light the way.


What populations/groups have been asking you to speak about your book? Who is embracing it?

I have been contacted by the National Foster Parent Association in support as well as by the State Associations asking me to speak at their annual conferences. I have been asked to speak at support groups, church venues, and before a Social Services conference. I have been pleased at the number of people who are not afraid to tell the truth - knowing full well that we can tell people the truth and they will still do this job—they will just be better at.


What else do you want us to know?

I have only one message and it is not how horrible our experiences were but instead that regardless of how difficult—it is possible to survive. I think that support groups such as yours are instrumental. I believe that first the families must be acknowledged for the pain and suffering they are enduring. I think they must be validated in their feelings of bitterness and anger towards the affected child. However, equally I think we must not allow them to stay there. I have spoken with so many parents who are “stuck” in their place of pain. The real gift we need to give these families is to help them find their way back - back to the love, gentleness and kindness that they first knew when they invited these children into their homes. I once thought that raising a RAD child was the hardest thing I would ever do—it was not. Finding forgiveness for that child, for God, for myself and for the system would prove to be imminently harder. It is a difficult and complicated journey but one we all must make and encourage others to as well.