I once had a conversation with Foster Cline (this photo of him was taken at the ATN conference last week) where I complained to him that I hated how cynical I was becoming sometimes. It can be hard to be optimistic when you see the same thing, day after day after day. For instance, this evening my husband will face the immense pleasure of stopping by Amy’s apartment complex to deal with the current mess of her life. He instructed Amy to stop by any time this week and pay any amount on her $4,000 rent bill. He gives it a 50/50 chance that she will have done so. I give it far less than that. Is that because I am cynical or because I am the one who worked a thousand times harder on Amy’s life than Amy did? And because I am the one who is most acutely aware that the Amy at the end was the exact same Amy as I had at the beginning, although perhaps with a bit more polish on the outside, should she choose to apply it. (Usually she doesn’t.)


Guess what Foster responded? He said he had an advantage over me, because he had lived longer and he had seen kids he wouldn’t have given you any hope for who actually turned out pretty well. And guess what tidbit of information I heard from someone at the ATN conference last week? He said he had seen a study or heard somewhere along the way that although initially, genetics overpower environment, given a long enough time (17+ years to be exact) the opposite can occur—environment can overrule genetics. I had never heard this before, but it is in keeping with what I have heard for years in a different way … that some kids in their 30’s and 40’s have some kind of an epiphany and see things much differently than they did previously. Or at least their behavior indicates that. So maybe it is a combination of brain growth and environment catching up with genetics?


Beth is trying hard to process what lies ahead for Amy. And as Beth asked questions yesterday, I found myself thinking of all the conversations I had with Amy about the potential of “living under a bridge” if she didn’t engage in life. Some might accuse me of “planting the seed.” Hardly. I tried as hard as I could to inject some reality into her life … but clearly to no avail. Reality will be hitting hard very soon. Will she notice?


Statistics on homelessness