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OK, I decided I started off too stuffy here. I am SO used to being in the “teaching” mode and trying to explain attachment to folks, I jumped right in and started teaching. BORING! I should tell you a little about myself.
Right now my house is pretty darn empty compared to the past. We recently moved from Illinois back to Kansas. I grew up in Indiana and moved to Kansas originally in 1994, kicking and screaming. It took a couple of years, but we grew to love it here. When we had to move to Chicago in ‘00, we didn’t want to go. In ‘01 we bought a lot back here in Kansas and have been trying to move back ever since! We are just starting building on that lot, so we are currently housed in two duplexes, side by side. On one side is myself, my husband and our 9 year old daughter, Beth, who was born in China. On the OTHER side is our just-turned-18 year old daughter, Amy, adopted at age 21 months from Thailand. In college we have Stephanie (bio, age 19) and Kyle (bio, age 21, marrying Marie, age 21, in May), and living nearby is Tommy (adopted from South America, almost 22). Also fairly close (an hour away) is foster daughter Amanda and husband Dave, and two kids.
Amy and Tommy have really given my family a run for our money. Both have serious attachment issues… and have since Day One. Tommy arrived very traumatized and VERY angry from his first nine years in an abusive orphanage. He’s overtly angry and blew out of our home within three years of his arrival, spending his adolescence in a variety of group homes and residential facilities. He’s doing a great job of handling job/bills/school but has changed little with respect to relationships and his anger issues. He thinks all therapy is a waste of time (translation… it isn’t fun and requires work) and thus far has refused to address his anger issues.
Amyis a “flat-liner”… nothing motivates, excites or interests her. Moving her next door has been the saving grace of my existence. She has lived next door since mid-January… so not quite a month. She told me last weekend something along the lines of…. “I realized when I pouted that no one was there to see it, so I decided if I wanted to see people I needed to make some changes!” Hmmmm… ya think? She’s considering a future in the Navy and we all think that would be a great choice. Moving next door has been a very good experience for her!
Here’s a picture… showing me and my husband Larry, daughters Beth, Amy and Stephanie, son Kyle and fiance Marie (curly hair!), Tommy, and the extra little guy is Tyler who lived with us between families…
Gosh–look at that amazing family! It is going to be fun reading your blog, Nancy…miss you tons!