A reader asked how Beth responded to our animals and the concept of “rescuing” them. I think I mentioned in a previous post that I did a mediocre job of preparing her for and explaining the circumstances around the loss of Lexie. She also knows Zoë would have been put to sleep if we hadn’t grabbed her when we did. Beth is a very deep thinker and I know she is processing it. She is a child who takes it in, chews on it awhile, and then asks very intelligent and probing questions about the conclusions she makes. She is still in the chewing stage… not many questions yet. But they will come.


However, in terms of her relationship with the animals, she’s much like me. Ben sleeps with her and every night she “reminds” me to bring him up. She’s a great help with animal chores and feeds the horses every morning and cleans up the dog run. She’s quite happy to carry the pup everywhere. She treats the animals with respect and loves them, and they love her. And her
conscientiousness about their care reflects her compassion and desire to meet their needs.


One doesn’t have to look far on the Internet to see examples of animal therapy being used successfully with emotionally disturbed kids. I remember hearing about an equine program at a conference one year. The speaker said they matched recalcitrant, unmotivated kids up with a horse and spent a couple of weeks teaching the child how to care for the horse. Then they took a long trail ride. The instructors observed the kids… those who properly cared for their horse rode them home. Those who didn’t walked them home! And apparently it was a long walk home!


Given that Amy has difficulty relating to people, one might think she found the animals less threatening. We certainly have had some awesome dogs while she lived with us. And yet, she didn’t really even “realize” we had dogs until she was in her mid-teens. I think I found her disinterest or inability to relate to the animals one of the saddest aspects of her lonely existence. As she got a little older, I would see her petting them or interacting with them once in awhile, but not to the extent that any of them went to her for affection or to get their needs met. While she was never abusive or mean to them, she did consider them more of a nuisance than a blessing.


I also tried to teach her to ride when she was younger, but it was a bust. She sat on the horse and tried to manipulate her way out of making any decisions. Not only was that ineffective for being in charge of the horse, but dangerous as well. I decided the barn was one of my places of refuge and there was no point in carrying our struggles out there too.


If I could see Amy really open up to and relate to one or more of our animals, I think I would know she was on the path to opening her heart up in general. Beth’s response to our loss of Lexie was deep and painful… one of the risks of loving so completely. But she has learned that love means risk and while the loss can be painful, the gain is greater than the loss. I am so glad she has learned such a critical lesson.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."
-CS Lewis

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