I was going to talk about Missouri foster care abuses today, but I have delayed that until later this week. Today I thought I’d give you another report on Dora, still struggling after my being gone last weekend and struggling in general about what she wants to do (or not do) with her life.


What she’d really like to do is leap into Beth’s life, without all the work or bother that goes with it. She will readily admit that she has given nothing back in the past three months, and that the things she did around the house to “give back” while she was honeymooning were not behaviors of the “real kid”. The real kid is apparently feeling safe enough now to make her appearance, and that’s a good thing … but the real kid is very angry and very afraid to trust anyone or anything.


She punished me royally for being gone last weekend, and yesterday she was just a stink. I told her last night the best remedy I had found for her (barely) contained anger was to move manure, and the forecast for today predicted balmy weather.


Beth and I spent the day at the Hallmark Crown Center, touring Kaleidoscope, the candy store, having lunch together at a place where they bring your burgers on a train, and doing some Christmas shopping. We finished our day with TCBY, of course. Dora spent a couple of hours at the neighbor’s house after school, and then the neighbor boy who is in Dora’s class came to our home for a couple of hours. Dora and the neighbor boy had cooked up all kinds of plans for what they would be doing at our house … that is, until I reminded Dora of her manure-moving obligations.


She screamed bloody murder while doing her chore. I went out to do horse chores and thanked her for confirming that this chore is, indeed, the very best one for her to get out her mad. She hotly informed my husband last night that she “couldn’t cry anymore” … the message being that I hadn’t put forth the effort to extract her feelings from her. Bottom line is … she is fighting making any changes. She is fighting the decision to trust. She is opting not to release her feelings. She is fighting just about everything. When she is really ripped that she’s out doing physical labor, she has a much harder time stuffing it all in … and that’s a very good thing. Of course, the horses will continue to do their part and provide a never-ending supply of mad-reducing material …


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