Part One

One of the folks quoted in the article is Susan Crain Lewis. Thanks to her, I was able to present a seminar on RAD in the late 90’s here in the KC metro area. I have already emailed her, too, hoping to reestablish the wonderful working relationship we had 6 years ago.


I wish I had been able to speak to this reporter before the article was written, but hopefully I can reach out to other families as a result of this series. A related story about a young man adopted from Romania is also very, very good reading. Tim Sherman was 6 years old when his parents plucked him from a Romanian orphanage. He has addressed his own personal anger and trauma issues and is now working at a residential facility. He talks about how nothing will happen until the child WANTS to make changes. He talks about conning many residential facilities and what a joke their programs were. He mentioned the Menniger clinic… a mental health facility in Kansas that at one time had a fabulous reputation. I have worked with families who had kids at that facility… and it was clear the staff didn’t understand RAD. And this young man agreed… He said he was there three days…

I b.s.’ed my way out of there. It was a piece of cake. Talk about intensive treatment. It was from 8 to 9 at night — that’s all it was, was groups. Back then I thought it was bull crap. A week later I started messing up again, shoving my mom and trying to run away. …Working in a place like this, I can now see how the most ordinary-looking kid can be the worst kid you’d ever have to deal with.

The subtitle of the story about this young man quotes him as saying:


‘The difference in places are not the programs, but the people. The programs are only as good as the people who run them.’


Tim describes his decision to make some changes…

But I hit a low point. I was depressed. I hit rock bottom.

That’s what happens with the kids here. When they hit rock bottom, it clicks. One day, I just said, “I’ve had it. I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m done.” What I was saying to myself is, “I want to get out of here. I want to go to college. I want a regular social life. I want regular friends. I want to be able to get married and have kids. I want to be able to make myself as proud of myself as my parents are proud of me.” A lot of people made the difference. That’s the way it works, the important thing, for kids is to find someone to connect to, someone they can listen to and respect. It may be someone in the kitchen staff, or the maintenance guy. You might have someone who has a double-master’s and is brilliant, but he may not be effective, because he and the kids may not have a relationship.

I try to tell the kids all the time, it is amazing how when you let go, quit trying to fight it, how many things can get done for you…

I have already contacted this young man's parents and I would dearly love to speak with him as well. Perhaps he or his parents would like to help ADN assist other families?

Photos by TAMMY LJUNGBLAD | THE KANSAS CITY STAR