A reader commented about how more people are speaking out about mental illness in adoptees…how I wasn’t a lone voice any more. It doesn’t give me a warm, fuzzy feeling to be “recognized” as the voice in the wilderness… I’d much rather be known for something more positive. But I guess God had a plan for bringing me the kids He did.


I want it to be clearly understood that I don’t believe mental health issues are unique to adoptees or adoptive families! I believe any family living with a person who has an emotional disturbance is a struggling family. It is hard on everyone. Having clarified that, however, I also believe many, many adoptees have issues that are not recognized, not addressed, and not resolved. And certainly many children who find themselves in need of new families have experienced trauma in their families of origin, or at the hands of their biological families…or in institutionalized settings overseas. And trauma creates mental health issues.


So if my personal experiences resulted in the creation of a network that makes life a little easier for those struggling families, than that is a good thing. Our kids will have their issues whether or not we have support... but it certainly makes it easier to make it through each day with that support!


As I write this and reread what I just wrote, my eyes fill with tears. Will I never be over the grief and loss I feel at the relationship that never was? But then my next thought is of a member of my Disciple I Bible study. She has a similar push/pull relationship with her biological mother. Or our Disciple leader, who had an alcoholic mom and ineffective dad. So I guess no one is guaranteed a life of smooth relationships.


As I prepared for my Bible study this week, the reading was Galatians. It discussed Paul’s role in the early church, and how new Christians struggled with balancing “the law” and living by faith without a myriad of restrictions. If we are to live by faith, why did we need the Law of Moses in the first place? My study guide suggested this:

The law, Paul wrote, took care of us the way a legal guardian takes care of a minor who is not yet ready to assume full responsibilities. But now, in Jesus Christ, we’ve come of age; we’ve been fully adopted. We live not by rules but in relationship. (Galatians 3:21-4:7).

And so I submit to you… we have one set of responsibilities to our children when we are their guardians… but it becomes their responsibility to live in relationship with us at some point in time. For it is in relationships that they will be set free.