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I went to bed late and woke up early … not a good combination. I spent far too long last night dinking with my computer anti-viral software.
Dora is having another mad and sad day. After taking Beth to school, we were off to the nail salon for a little Mom-pampering. Then on to Wal-Mart for groceries and deodorant (as requested by Beth, who doesn’t want to be left out of the pre-adolescent revolution!) Lunch was a quiet affair with some passive-aggressiveness exhibited by Dora as she struggled with her mad and sad. After lunch, I scooped her up and we headed for the chair. She wailed for 21 minutes according to her, as she informed me she had checked the clock. She misses her mom and repeatedly proclaims, “It’s not fair.” She’s right, it isn’t fair. Much about how life unfolds is unfair. In her case, losing two moms as well as orphanage staff by the age of barely nine is categorically unfair. And I can say nothing to change that. I can’t offer any magic words. I can only sit and hold her while she cries, and validate her feelings. I also reminded her of extended family that wishes to remain a part of her life.
Before we rocked I raided my pantry, retrieved the candy that was put up high a few days ago, and helped myself to a mini-Heath bar to revive my flagging energy level and prepare me for the chair time that was about to unfold. I stuck a small box of Milk Duds in my pocket. When Dora stopped crying, I popped a Milk Dud into her mouth. The sucking and lip action required to eat one of those gooey confections replicates the sucking action of nursing … a bonding activity. The sugar in the candy stands in for the lactose in milk. (This was awesome information I learned from Nancy Thomas.)
I’m off to take the girls to get their eyes checked, followed by TCBY for dinner/snack before Beth’s swim practice, and then home to meet my neighbor where we will attempt to load the horse we bought in July back into our two-horse trailer. I blogged about it here, describing the four hour ordeal we had on a hot July day. I can hardly wait to have at it again tonight. Sure glad I have freshly manicured nails for this adventure …
There are also sucker-like candies in the shape of a baby bottle. My kids think they’re a hoot. In order to eat the sucker, it’s used like a baby bottle, and the novelty may override the obvious therapeutic value.