Continuing along the lines of predicting our children’s choices and/or investing indefinitely into their future, Deb Hannah provided a classic example of seeing what lies ahead for our children and yet being powerless to do anything about it. At the risk of “spilling the beans” on her book (you MUST read it!) Deb has had long and arduous interactions with her local juvenile justice system because of some of her kids. She shared with me some of the inner workings of the system… creative and effective solutions, although circuitous in nature…


Apparently it is a common practice in the court system to offer a defendant a plea agreement that includes a lengthy probation but no jail time. Defendants are happy to agree to something that doesn't include immediate jail time. (We all know how well our kids can ignore logical consequences or avoid thinking about something that will happen in a hour, much less days or weeks...) The probation carries with it some serious requirements, including but not limited to: counseling, admitting their involvement in the crime, restitution to their victim(s) if possible or necessary, attendance of probation meetings, holding a job, obtaining a GED and having clean random urine tests. The probation requirements are set very high with the DA’s expectation that the defendant won’t adhere to them. Often the victim of the crime is unhappy, believing the defendant is not paying a severe enough punishment; but the reality is, this is a way the DA insures that the defendant will get the most time… because if/when the probation is revoked, the resulting sentence is much stiffer than the courts would have given if the case had gone to trial.


In the case of Deb’s child, revocation of probation meant a ten year sentence… and Deb knew her child would not take the consequences of breaking probation seriously. So Deb had to watch this scene unfold… knowing she was going to have a child in jail for a very long time, yet powerless to do anything about it. And because of the damage this child had inflicted upon the family, Deb thought she would feel a measure of relief or justification when this child was incarcerated… but she didn’t. She only felt extreme sadness for a life that was being wasted. Been there, done that… how’s about you?

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