I mentioned in part three of my series on adoption disruptions that an attorney in Wisconsin told my friend Kelly that he is performing more adoption disruptions than regular adoptions. His name is Stephen Hayes and I spent an hour on the phone with him tonight. I will clarify my quote to say he has handled almost more disruptions than adoptions… 36 cases in the last 22 months, and 70% were EE kids. Only two were domestic adoptions. He is becoming a specialist in disruption cases and has presented workshops on this topic to the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. He acknowledges that his "specialty" is what is making him more visable and increasing the number of disruptions that come his way.


His other area of interest and expertise is wrongful adoption cases, and they do go hand in hand with disruptions. We discussed the many issues involved when parents are not satisfied with the outcome of their adoptions. Sometimes it is lack of agency preparation and support. Sometimes it is parental inability to understand what they are being told, or outright refusal to believe it. I must say, the vast majority of families assisted by ADN would not be so unhappy with their agencies (or consider legal action against them) if only the agencies were more supportive when families struggled. The usual agency response, in my experience, has been to blame the families… assuming the agency is available at all. Many just seem to “disappear”.


Another topic of discussion was federal adoption credit. In a disruption, the original adoptive family was eligible for this benefit when they adopted. When the child is adopted by the receiving family, that family is then eligible as well. Additionally, Mr. Hayes believes families adopting a US citizen should be eligible to apply for adoption subsidy through their state… regardless of the country of origin of this (relatively new) US citizen. I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with this man, as he echoed so many of the views I have about adoption, disruption, pre-adoption preparation and post-adoption support. He is very knowledgeable about RAD and I look forward to more conversations with him in the future.


One last comment here in response to a comment/question on the disruption series. A reader asked if families can essentially voluntarily terminate their parental rights and turn their child over to new parents. As long as the receiving family has an approved homestudy and documents their willingness to provide an appropriate home, there is little legal ground to deny this petition. Legal parents can make legal decisions about their kids. It would be similar to biological parents giving custody (guardianship or permanent) to grandparents or siblings or even non-related people. There are reasons to do so, including terminal illnesses, addictions, and other life stressors. If the decision appears to be in the best interests of the child, it can happen.


I’m sure there will be more on this topic… sad but true.