I’ve never been a big fan of New Year’s. I am not a night person, so staying up until midnight to drink champagne or to kiss has never been a favorite activity of mine. However, if New Year’s was celebrated at 6:00a, then I’m your gal. Maybe I should start celebrating New Year’s on Australian time!
The start of a new year has always been more of a time of reflection for me. I don’t make resolutions for the coming year because I know by February I won’t be able to remember what my New Year’s resolutions were. Plus, I am so exhausted from the Holidays that it takes me until February to get my head around resolutions.
This year, I’ve spent a fair bit of time reflecting on 2011. For me, it was a tough year. Both of my daughters, Elle and Bunny, had set backs with their Reactive Attachment Disorder, and as a parent of RAD children, I questioned whether what we were doing to help the girls was the right thing. I wondered if all the therapy was making a difference or not helping at all. I questioned myself as a parent, and wondered if I really had what it takes to help heal my children.
Sometimes, parenting a child with RAD can be so draining that you feel like there is nothing left of yourself, not even a glimmer of your former self. That’s where I have been for the last couple of months. In a hole of despair.
I started to look at my life as a plate, with my family heaped on, my blogging, and the everyday requirements of my life. Activities and responsibilities were heaped like mounds of spaghetti, and the spaghetti was threatening to spill over the side. Metaphorically, I scraped my plate clean, washed it, and then slowly started to add back to the plate. I practiced the art of just being, with no deadlines and no responsibilities past taking care of my family.
It has taken two months to clean my plate and start over…and just in time for the New Year. I am starting 2012 with a renewed sense of self, with grit determination to help my daughters, and an excitement for my writing that I haven’t felt in awhile.
I am not going to make any resolutions to lose weight (which I already have), or be a better person (because I work on that constantly), or write a book (which I would love to do), but I am going to continue to practice the art of being. I am going to hope for a happy and prosperous 2012 for me, my family, and for all of you.
May your 2012 be everything you hope for…and then some! Happy New Year!