Reactive Attachment Disorder, RAD Blog - Open the doors... (Part 3 in a series)

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Reactive Attachment Disorder Blog

02/13/07

Open the doors... (Part 3 in a series)

Posted by : Nancy Spoolstra in Reactive Attachment Disorder Blog at 09:53 am , 428 words, 93 views
Categories: Support, Faith and Religion, Deborah Hannah

Part One
Part Two doors

My bottom-line goal for meeting with the pastor was to convince her to let me speak to all the congregational care pastors, so they would all be aware of what services were available for struggling foster and adoptive families right here in their own community! I believe that mission was accomplished, as the pastor agreed to set that up forthwith. My second goal was to see how I might tap into the considerable resources of our church… and that will take a bit more doing. The pastor is going to ruminate on what I told her and get back to me… (Isn’t ruminate a great word, especially for an ex-veterinarian?!) She wasn’t exactly sure what the church could offer, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I was asking. (I do know that two other foster care and youth mental health ministries are struggling to get church support...) We closed our meeting with a prayer, and the pastor asked God to give me peace as I struggled with constantly feeling overwhelmed with what ADN is trying to accomplish. I certainly could use some divine intervention on that front.

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After the pastor prayed, I inquired as to the location of the Missions office. At one point in the late 90's, when ADN was a more fledgling organization, I participated in the Missions Fair at church. I heard there was one occurring in a few weeks, and while I suspect I am too late for that one, I wondered how I could get plugged in again. As I was talking about this with the pastor, I realized I was largely responsible for dropping the ball here, as the head of Missions had given me guidance last fall on how to get ADN under the Missions umbrella in some capacity. Trouble is, I’m peddling as fast as I can, and I haven’t gotten it done. So yet another thing added to a never-ending list of things to do.

As we walked to the Missions office together, we passed an office that dealt with producing the incredible videos that compliment our sermons every weekend. A light bulb went off, and I turned to the pastor and exclaimed, “I know one thing the church could do for us! Let ADN use the incredible resources here to create a 3-5 minute video that helps us tell others what we are about!” So, we’ll see where that goes…

In the last installment of this series, I'll talk about "Where is God in all this?"

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4 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Angela [Member]

· http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com/

There are several basic things that many children’s religious programs fail to do.

I don't know how your children's religious education is organized. But there should be 1 centralized person who coordinates for special children.

When children are registered for religious education the form should ask specifically about special needs; ADHD, allergies, Autism, Anxiety, PTSD, angry, etc...

The needs should be listed so that they can be circled and a blank area on the form for additional information.

The special needs coordinator makes sure that the child’s teacher receives information/training to make that child successfully.

The coordinator would also recruit volunteers to be a special needs child’s buddy. They help them move to classrooms or complete activities as needed... depending on the child’s needs.

ADN would be a resource for the coordinator... the provide training and/or volunteers.

Permalink 02/13/07 @ 11:06

Comment from: Nancy Spoolstra [Member]

· http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/

Our church has a great "Mathew's Ministry", so named for a very special needs young man. We have a slew of volunteers who spend one-on-one time with these special kids every weekend so their parents can attend services. Some of these kids have mental health issues, but many are physically challenged as well... more obvious disabilities, if you will. It is in getting services and support for the LESS obviously in need kids that we struggle... and especially when the needs are so NON "PC"... if you understand what I mean?

Permalink 02/13/07 @ 11:53

Comment from: Angela [Member]

· http://ukraine.adoptionblogs.com/

It shouldn't be a challenge... special needs are special needs.

But I understand what you mean.

Another option, if you were at my church would be to hook up with the parenting groups. They have once a month dinner with a guest speaker on an topic.

And they have once a week meetings for support.

Permalink 02/13/07 @ 12:12

Comment from: nancyderen [Member]

To me, one of the most disturbing and surprising things in Deborah Hannah's book was the response of her church community to her children's actions. I was amazed at how unethical their behavior was. My church community is very small (we're Quakers and only have about 60 members at our local Meeting for Worship), which limits the support that can be given, but I think we all do try our best to be non-judmental. I would think one way a large church like yours could help would be to offer a training for potential volunteers who want to provide various forms of brief respite for parents who are struggling with their kids, for example phone buddies who could talk to a parent at tough moments, or come over and either give the parent a break or just be there for a supportive presence. Even in my tiny church, when my husband first left a few months after my daughter came, there were a couple times I called one of the Elders of our church, and she was able to send one member to just hang out with my daughter for a couple hours, and one member to just sit with me and let me vent. I think without that help, I'd be one of the less inspiring news stories about adoptive parents! Because our church is so small, I only asked for help those couple of times when I really thought I couldn't make it through the day, and the rest of the time I tough it out myself, but a larger church might be able to do a lot more. Best wishes!
-Nancy

Permalink 02/13/07 @ 12:57

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