Late yesterday morning my husband, Beth and I hauled ourselves out of bed after only climbing in bed at 7 AM… after driving all night home from a wedding 600 miles away. We had a graduation to celebrate! We arrived at the large sports stadium downtown to watch Julie, our foreign exchange student, walk with 356 classmates to the unmistakable sounds of Pomp and Circumstance.


We had barely entered the building when suddenly Amy is standing right in front of us. She had opted to not even attend class for the past month of school, so we knew she wasn’t graduating. She was once again there on behalf of her friend, and was sitting with her friend’s family or planned to sit with them… I’m not sure which.


My husband and I had discussed this eventuality and we both felt that it would be beyond a bit weird if Amy did come to this ceremony. In my husband’s view, it somewhat made a mockery out of the whole situation. But, she was there…


She handed us her program, informing us there were no more programs available. I pointed to a table fifty feet away that still had programs for the taking. She said, “Oh well, we have three by us anyway!” My husband said, “Call me this week” and she said, “OK.”


She went her way and we went ours. (Does this sound terribly familiar?) We couldn’t figure out why she had made such a point of connecting with us. Was she standing at the entry door looking for her friend’s family? Or were they already sitting down and she was there looking for us? She could easily have blended into the crowd and avoided us. So what was the point?


As we listened to the two senior speeches (which were quite good) I couldn’t help but wonder what, if anything, Amy was thinking. When the seniors spoke of how “privileged and protected” they had been up to this point, and how arriving at this moment in their lives was partially due to the support and efforts of parents and teachers, and how the big world awaited them (with the undercurrent message being one of “it won’t be easy”)…what was Amy thinking? When they mentioned that 95% of the students were going on to college or joining the military, what was Amy thinking? When they called the name of the students graduating before and after Amy’s name would have been called, what was Amy thinking?


My husband’s answer to that question? “You forget she doesn’t think. She does an amazing job of blocking everything out.” Oh yeh…


Well, I can tell you I was thinking…


We didn’t see her after the ceremony. And we haven’t heard from her, except when she “runs into us” in months. If she doesn't call this week, she will not know some things she needs to know regarding family vacations... But that would be her problem, not ours, right?


At our dinner in Gurnee Friday night, I talked with another ATN mom who has an older daughter... and I am learning it really doesn't get easier, it just gets different. Well, wait, it is easier. I don't have to deal with it nearly as much.


And so it goes…


Here's a great article on homelessness, poverty and foster care that I used in writing my VISTA grant.