I am packing Beth up this morning for a week at YMCA Ranch Hand camp. I retrieve her next Saturday morning. She’s excited, and I think she will do fine. It is me I am worried about!


While she has been apart from me for this long before, it has been with me away and her at home. Last year she attended K State Equestrian camp, but it was for 2 nights only. One week was Western and one week was English. She was homesick the second week.


The YMCA stipulates no cell phones at camp and they encourage the kids to become independent and not cave in to homesickness. In other words, they can’t be calling home all the time. I get that, but I wrote a note on her paperwork and called the office to request that if she really needs to connect with me, no one should stand in her way. With her history, I’m not about to force her to struggle with potential feelings of abandonment or loss because of standard camp rules. I told her, though, that she was only to take advantage of that opportunity if she really needed it.


This week a friend of mine has her niece staying with her, a girl one year younger than Beth and adopted as an infant from Korea. The girls played together a couple of times, both times at the other girl’s home (at her insistence.) My friend called me to tell me that Beth was the most polite, empathetic, and delightful girl she thinks she has ever met, and when her niece goes home would I please send Beth down to see her? How cool is that?


But it really gets interesting when I asked Beth how the play date went. “OK”, she said without a lot of enthusiasm. I pressed, and she said, “She’s a lot like Amy!”


Well, that’s interesting. I asked in what ways specifically was she like Amy? Beth said she only wanted to do what she wanted to do, was very limited in what she wanted to do, and she used other people as excuses for things. Apparently, at one point Beth said to her, “If you put other people first before yourself you probably would have more friends!” To which the other girl replied, “I already have lots of friends!” My daughter said, “Well, you would have more friends … I am pretty new to doing that and it has worked for me!” This, coming from a child who joined our family because of serious attachment issues ... where the rule of thumb is "Look out for Number One!"


I asked Beth if my adult friend overheard this conversation, and Beth thinks she did. I wonder if this exchange had anything to do with my friend’s assessment of my daughter?


What I do know is that the emotional growth my daughter has experienced over this past year is phenomenal. Her teacher noticed it, I have noticed it, and her swim coaches have too. Her coaches just love her. In fact, everyone that meets her loves her. And while I take credit for teaching her manners and politeness, I take no credit for her sunny disposition, optimistic attitude, and giving nature. Somewhere in China there are a couple of awesome people who created this awesome child that now brightens my every day.