I agree with adding "adopted youth" to that statement as well. And maybe while they're at it they can make access available to high quality counselors/attorneys and the like because the counselors in our area that are even taking new clients are very hard to get to see unless you're willing to wait months to get an appt. and then accept that you're only going to be scheduled every 2-3 weeks. Their schedules are overloaded and they just cannot take the time these kids deserve. My sons RAD counselor is supposed to be an expert in this field and promised us on our first visit that she would get us information on respite homes, mentoring programs, etc. that may help my son - that was 3 months ago and we're still waiting. By the time we get the info., contact the homes and set something up, we could be "over the edge" of our now fragile sanity. The needs are so great and the resources so minimal that sometimes I wonder where our priorities really are. It's tempting to just give up and put in our time until he's 18, goodness knows nothing else has helped up to this point.

Boy, can I identify. We have worked for literally years to try to get respite, proper therapy and any kind of help in dealing with our RAD daughter. We have had short-term assistance, but nothing that contributed to her stability or wellbeing. Most of the professionals that we've dealth with have very little understanding of the crisis situation we live with on a continual basis. We have had appointments scheduled for every three weeks while our child was busy cutting, stealing and being disruptive at school. Tell me how 50 minutes every three weeks can even begin to heal this child. When we had in-home therapeutic services, the staff would change continually. There was no consistency in services and it was like starting over each and every time. She was able to manipulate and charm at will and made very little progress. It is so very frustrating. We are just trying to survive until she's 18. What a way to parent!

Every three weeks for 50 minutes does absolutely nothing. There is no relationship built between the counselor and child which is what I'm always told needs to happen before real progress can be made.

One issue that's really bothered me about the school system: Whenever my RAD son was stealing, lying, etc. at school and wasn't currently in counseling, the school was not inclined to do ANYTHING about changing his behavior (such as supervising him more closely or keeping in closer contact with me in regards to school punishments). I always felt like the finger was being pointed at ME as being the problem. However, the second (and I mean this literally) I mentioned that his counselor said this, or that I would bring an issue up with his counselor - everything changed. I was shown much more respect as a parent, the school was very willing to do something that "the counselor recommended" even after telling me that same recommendation (coming from me) was impossible. Is it just the people I've worked with (this has happened at two different schools) or does my word/opinion about my child me nothing to these people? Who is the expert on my child - the person who deals with him 24/7 or the counselor who see's him for 50 minutes every 3 weeks??

I have been following many of these blogs for awhile. We adopted our Son 9 years ago when he was 8. The Iowa DHS had severly mishadled his case causing two disruptions and several foster homes. He was sexual/physically and emotionally abused. We did not go through the pre-adoptive phase. The caseworker called and said if you want to adopt come pick him up. We really had no "honeymoon with our Son all the hallmarks of RAD were there from the start, his abuse on us was really unabating as he would switch forms to keep us guessing. It is a very long story but similiar to all the others I have read here. We have been moderately successful with him (even close to his Eagle Scout) up until we moved to El Paso a 16 Months ago when he was 16. Again our story is very similiar to the rest here, refusing to go to school, lots of visits by law enforcment, physical abuse towards us, destroying the home, lying stealing all of it. It spent 5 months in RTC last Winter/Spring. In October I was looking for a therapeutic school to send him to and found one that dealt with attachment issues. Although it was very expensive we were willing to finance it using our Son's college fund (there was a time when we were optomistic enough to start it) and educational loan, I have asked many different states DHS to pay for these programs but have always been denied. During the prep process of getting him enrolled our Son was arrested and put in jail for burgulary. We told him we would not bail him out but did get him a lawyer to see if we could get the charges dropped to a misdemeanor. At 17 he is considered an adult in the criminal system in TX. The judge released him on a PR bond and told him to report to a shelter which provided many services. He got kicked out of the shelter d/t violence and stealing. We were quite upset at this because he seemed to be improving under the guidance of a SW who really had a grasp on reality, she almost had him convinced to re-enroll in school and find a job and go home. He then hooked up with some people who tried to extort money from us every few nights. Theres more but the bottom line when all of his schemes ran dry he reported to CPS and told them we kicked him out and refused to feed him. I am still astounded at the arrogance how condescending the CW he was when he called. He threatened me and then called my place work of told them all I was endangering my child. We are now in the positions of having our Son removed from the home because "the home was a danger" . The language in the affadavit is inflammatory and the SW only wrote what are Son stated. The SW boss essentially told me that are welfar was not thier concern they only had to ensure they were not held liable if our Son was injured. They are bent on treating us with complete contempt. I will say that through are 9 years most educators, Mental health professional have been supportive and wanting to help there is always liited resources. I can also Say that every state DHS that we have been invloved with have been the most unuseful, uneducated to many of the issues associated with older child adoption and the most condescending. The CPS in El paso has been particularly BAD. I am ready to give up terminate my parental rights and cherish many of the times we had with our Son. I am also intersted in sarting an nationwide organization for CPS reform.