I am sorry I have been incommunicado for several days. Last weekend was a blur. We left early Saturday morning, picked up a U-Haul trailer at 7 AM in a snowstorm, drove 500 miles to Illinois (in snow the entire way), and arrived at Kyle and Marie’s soon-to-be-ex-apartment at 6 PM. Next, we filled the trailer with furniture they were giving away and that needed to be stashed in a storage unit. The furniture’s new owner had been given the wrong storage unit key, so it was on to her apartment to store it there instead. We ate dinner at 9 PM, and then I took Dora and Beth to the hotel while my husband, Kyle and Marie and two of their friends loaded the trailer with household items to move back to Kansas. (It didn’t all fit, so when Kyle and Marie return to Illinois next weekend, they will take another trailer with them.) They went to bed at 2 AM.

Sunday morning we connected with Marie’s family and then we all attended Kyle and Marie’s college graduation. Kyle received a Master’s Degree in Accounting, and Marie received a Bachelor’s of Education. After eating dinner, we were on the road again at 6 PM, this time pulling a full trailer; thankfully, the roads were much better. However, that didn’t prevent us from having a flat tire. Eighty miles from home we stopped for gas and realized one of the trailer tires was flat. I took Kyle’s car and drove the sleeping girls on home. I arrived home at 3 AM … the rest of the crew arrived at 4 AM.

Kyle and Marie are at the bank as I write this, closing on their condo. After that, they will be unloading furniture, accepting delivery of furniture, and generally enjoying all the fun that accompanies moving. My job is to feed them, their friends, Stephanie and her friend who are scheduled to arrive tonight, and the other four of us. I will have a house full of folks for a week.

Adding to all this fun, my email accounts have not been working, thanks to a Road Runner glitch. I spent an hour on the phone yesterday morning and two hours last night, trying to get them to get it fixed. If you have emailed me in the past few weeks and not received a response, please try again, using nancy@radzebra.org.

What have I learned this weekend, and what does this have to do with attachment? This weekend was all about relationships. We had the opportunity to see Marie’s dad and stepmom. Marie’s dad has struggled with cancer this past 5-6 months, and he has had a very rough time. It was wonderful to see him, and it makes me appreciate the gift of life and health in a way that I wish our attachment-affected kids would understand.

I reflected upon the relationships we have with Kyle and Marie, and their willingness to move back close to us and share their lives with us. I contrasted that with Amy, who lived in the household and didn’t share a relationship with us, and who now lives close by but has no contact. Furthermore, I reflected upon how quickly time seems to fly … I recently watched the “growing up” video I created for Kyle—the one that ends with his high school graduation. Here we are at the end of college graduation. How did that happen so quickly? And why don’t our attachment-affected kids realize the lives they are throwing away?

Marie’s family was shocked at how tall Beth has become, and how mature she appears and acts. I reflected upon what a blessing she is to us, and how glad I am she is still at home.

I realized when we had the flat tire at 2 AM and “just handled it” how far we have come in defining what is a crisis and what is a mere aggravation.

I realized many things this weekend, but I think most of all I realized how much I love my family and how blessed I am to be in relationship with most of them. Those who choose not to engage are the ones who are losing out.


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