My last quotes from the Pyschology textbook relate to a summary statement about the relative roles of nature vs. nurture. The book states:

An analogy may help:

Genes and environment—nature and nurture—work together like two hands clapping. Genes not only code for particular proteins, they also respond to environments. An African butterfly that is green in summer turns brown in fall, thanks to a temperature-controlled genetic switch. “The genome is giving the butterfly two different choices, two different opportunities. It’s not dictating, ‘You must take this form,’” Gary Marcus (2004) explains. “It’s saying, ‘If you’re in this situation you can take this form, if you’re in this other situation you can take this other form.’” Thus, genes are self-regulating. Rather than acting as blueprints that lead to the same result no matter the context, genes react.

My thought as I am reading that passage is, what would happen if the butterfly truly had a choice? Would it change to brown in the fall or remain green because it would be a matter of trust to turn brown and assume the leaves are going to turn brown, too?


I get a lot of heat because some folks think I don’t take into consideration the truly faulty wiring that plagues so many of our kids. Some people think I don’t understand or try to incorporate the fear-based component that drives our kids’ behaviors into my responses or reactions to those behaviors.


All I can say is, I know how hard I tried to convince Amy that turning brown in the fall would be a good thing. I know how many ways I tried to show her that other butterflies turned brown and thrived. I know how many therapists and specialists I took her to in order to help her understand her faulty thinking and help her rewire her perceptions. One of those therapists was nearly two hours away, one way, and we spent entire Tuesday afternoons for many months driving to therapy. We stopped when she said, “I know what I need to do but I don’t want to do it!”


Did her genes interplay with her wiring to keep her immobilized? Did her genetic fear of any change work against her? Probably. But her chances of surviving and thriving as a green butterfly in a brown world are certainly not optimal.

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