Well, the fur is a’flyin’ over on the community board I anonymously mentioned a couple of days ago. I have been blasted for all manner of things:

• Most notably, they are angry that I “cross-posted.” But I didn’t … I did describe a scenario I read about on that board, but I mentioned no names, did not quote the post, and did not name or link the board. Based on their logic, anything anybody reads on that board can never be used in any other settings. It is the Internet … that is not likely. Based on this line of thinking, I can’t apply anything I learned from one family to another family … that would be crossing the line of privacy. Also based on this logic, the poster who recently started a discussion about the families she met at a social gathering who were "clueless" was out of line for talking about them on this board.

• I was blasted for supposedly singling out and bashing the original poster … more on that shortly.

• I was deemed an ex vetenerian turned self described adoption "expert". (This is a direct quote, but I wanted to be diligent in getting the quote correct …)

• My favorite—I was blasted yet again because all my kids were not “successes”, therefore I was a terrible parent and not qualified to comment.

I debated responding to this in my blog, but had decided not to do so until someone I respected posted a comment on the thread this morning. This person believed I had crossed into a gray area in what I posted the other day (because of cross posting limitations I presume), and that my post (and tone) was condescending. However, this same poster didn't think my blog was that "egregious."


I have long been a lighting rod, and I have seen many, many parents much prefer to shoot the messenger as opposed to hear the message. But it is never, ever my intent to be condescending.


I wrote the original blog entry because I was worried about the original poster … I didn’t think ignoring the problem was in her best interest—or that of her child. However, every single response was reinforcing that this behavior was normal. I wondered if I was so jaded that I really couldn’t see the forest for the trees. (Was I really the Lone Ranger?) So I asked all of you folks. Your responses matched my view of the situation, including Pat Johnston’s comment. She encouraged me to respond. I truly didn’t have the energy to respond, knowing I would get blasted for it. (Clearly, I was correct.) I encouraged her to do so, if she felt so led. She did, and she wrote a fabulous response. (And then I got blasted for passing it back to Pat...)


As things unfold, my blog link is posted on this board (that’s fine with me) and let the games begin …


As previously mentioned, I was avoiding the temptation to respond until I was deemed condescending. No, just tired. Also frustrated. Still worried about parents who have kids who need services, and still wishing folks would address the elephant in the living room earlier in the child’s life … but not condescending. Why would I be? I’m not the one who will live with this child. I know how hard this path is, even when you acknowledge you are on the path. I have nothing but concern for families who can’t or won’t find resources for their troubled kids. In my opinion, the original poster was doing the right thing by asking the question. I was supportive of her efforts to get answers. It was the answers I was worried about, and to follow up, I asked other people if it was just my warped perspective. The responses indicated my views were not so skewed. So tell me, what is my biggest sin? Using a scenario from another board to generate conversation and gain a perspective about my own views? Or is this still more about shoot the messenger?


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