Even though it is a Sunday, I have spoken to several moms on the phone today. I knew it was going to be a “busy” weekend as far as SOS calls went… based on last week’s emails. Since I was in Illinois over the 4th of July and knew I was coming to Atlanta this weekend, I just told folks to call me on my cell phone. They did!


The underlying themes are all the same. Families with disturbed kids who have seen “regular” therapists with no success, whose extended family doesn’t understand why mom and dad are so tough. Parents who have recently adopted (many from Eastern Europe) who are almost immediately “over their heads” and wonder what to do next. Parents who have struggled with a very disturbed child for a very long time and are running out of gas…


One of the first things I do is find out where the person is located geographically, and I find out what area codes are within driving distance. Then I check ADN’s database of therapists and see who is nearby. (Or I ask Kelly to check!) All therapists listed in ADN's database have been recommended to us or “vouched for” by someone who knows what an attachment therapist should be doing.

(If a family is considering disruption, I take a different track. More on that later...)


Next I refer the mom to the ADN website to sign up for one of our three listserves. Little Zebras was the first list we started, and is now populated by the parents with the toughest kids. ADN_Parents is for the less severe kids under age 10, and ADN_Teens is for the less severe kids over age 10.


I often recommend several books. Love and Logic Parenting is a must. Nancy Thomas’s When Love is Not Enough is also excellent, although seeing Nancy in person is the best way to understand her methods. I also like Katherine Leslie’s approach as outlined in her book When a Stranger Calls You Mom. Right after she spoke at the ADN conference and described how she “coaches” her kids on how to interact in relationships, Nancy Ashe told us all how she doesn’t know how to do relationships. In other words, Nancy confirmed exactly what Katherine described earlier.


The rest of the time on the phone is spent brainstorming responses to the child’s most troublesome behaviors, shoring up the mom’s confidence, and generally trying to help her feel less isolated and alone. There is no shortage of families needing support.