I just returned from taking Beth to her sleepover tonight. Such a normal, fun thing for a kid to do. Sadly, Amy didn’t do those normal things. The young hostess of the party tonight is also an adoptee. She’s Beth’s age, and is a swimming buddy. She hails from Eastern Europe and spent her first five years in an orphanage. Although she had some adjustments to make upon her arrival, her mom has found her to be a very easy child. When I met this young lady tonight, her eye contact was spot-on, her face was relaxed and sported a natural smile, she sincerely complimented me on my horse vest, and she couldn’t have been more delightful. She really did radiate a peace, tranquility and wisdom about her that was almost palpable!


Contrast that with her brother… mom’s biological son. He’s the same age… and he apparently has alphabet soup after his name. His eye contact was almost nonexistent, his voice was twice as loud as it should have been, he was dysregulated and careening throughout the house, and he was unaware and/or unconcerned about his impact on those around him. In a conversation last night, mom told me her daughter had shown her what parenting was supposed to be about, and her son was her very challenging kid. Guess what? This child’s father died suddenly due to a heart attack when this young man was nine days old. Imagine the impact that had upon his mom and the dynamics between mother and child?


This mom has struggled to find services. Isn’t that shocking? When I suggested to her last night that I might be in a position to provide respite for her, she indicated she had been unable to get that need met through social services. I suspect at some point her son will have the pleasure of experiencing a weekend at Spoolstra Manor. A local therapist often referred kids here for respite when we lived in Kansas in the late 90’s. He told one girl we had horses, and when she got all excited about petting their faces, he said, “No, that’s not the end you’ll be dealing with…”

To be continued…

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