Many experienced teachers begin the school year by putting the fear of God into their students on the first day of school. At least, that is the impression I have received from Beth, and I think I used to hear it from the older kids. It was so long ago, I’m not sure!


Why would a teacher prefer to “come down hard” and then lighten up, as opposed to giving the kids a chance to prove that they need more structure and control? Because many teachers have learned it is much easier to lighten up than it is to backpeddle and institute restrictions that were not in place initially.


Teachers often take this approach because they understand they need to be in charge of their classroom. They understand children can’t learn in an environment where chaos reins.


One term often thrown around in special education settings is least restrictive environment. This refers to the gold standard of teaching a special needs child in the most “normal” environment possible while still meeting that child’s needs.


One of the extended family members of the child we are meeting this weekend was wondering why it would be necessary for me to institute a restricted environment immediately, rather than assessing the child for issues and respond accordingly. It is a legitimate question. Why will I approach it that way?


This is far more important than “maintaining control of my classroom.” This has to do with making a child feel safe. Safe in the care of an adult who is clearly in charge (in a benign, nurturing way), clearly cares enough about the child to institute and maintain that degree of structure, and parents in such a way that the child has few opportunities to fail and many opportunities to succeed. Providing children with minimal structure in the beginning and allowing kids to “fail” when they blast past those boundaries is reinforcing all the negative behaviors we hope to eradicate. This is exactly like that toddler who knows he can safely explore, because Mom is right there keeping him safe. He has far more autonomy when he knows he doesn’t have to be the boss of himself … his loving, attentive mom has his best interests at heart and is looking out for him.


I am more than capable of adjusting my parenting approach as needed, and I would like nothing better than to be able to “back off” this child as quickly as possible. But I need to see what kind of internal self-control is present before I throw caution to the wind.


Structure is not a hair-raising experience

Steel box with a velvet lining


For information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to your favorite AdoptionBlogs, please visit this link.

Photo Credit