Comments on: Stepping Out of the School Battle http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle Addresses challenges faced by parents of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder and provides news and support. Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:16:58 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: mom of two rad kids http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle/comment-page-1#comment-1811 mom of two rad kids Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:26:24 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/09/30/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle#comment-1811 My daughter would sit for hours and not do her homework, yet all work given during the school day was completed without a problem. After having her tested we found she was actually so far ahead, she was bored to tears doing the homework and prefered to escape the boredum living in her imaginary world. <br /> <br /> Once she skipped a grade and the teacher understood the importance of her being challenged all the time, life is much easier!<br /> <br /> We also make her journal about three feelings she experienced during the day before any t.v. time. Then we review the feelings and discuss how the anger and frustration may be a cover for something else. I share with her how I feel when similar things happen. <br /> <br /> A year later, she is better able to identify her thoughts and feelings and has learned to stop and think before allowing frustration to overcome her.<br /> <br /> My other daughter is a totally different story...no two RAD kids are the same. <br /> <br /> Best of luck to everyone! My daughter would sit for hours and not do her homework, yet all work given during the school day was completed without a problem. After having her tested we found she was actually so far ahead, she was bored to tears doing the homework and prefered to escape the boredum living in her imaginary world.

Once she skipped a grade and the teacher understood the importance of her being challenged all the time, life is much easier!

We also make her journal about three feelings she experienced during the day before any t.v. time. Then we review the feelings and discuss how the anger and frustration may be a cover for something else. I share with her how I feel when similar things happen.

A year later, she is better able to identify her thoughts and feelings and has learned to stop and think before allowing frustration to overcome her.

My other daughter is a totally different story…no two RAD kids are the same.

Best of luck to everyone!

]]> By: reginak http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle/comment-page-1#comment-1810 reginak Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:22:56 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/09/30/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle#comment-1810 if you are logical the punishment for not doing homework is a bad grade. No need for you to repunish. I guess I would ask myself is punishing him fornot doing homework making it easier or harder to attach? Your job is the relationship building.<br /> Usually punishmenets that are added on to logical consequences interfere with attachment. if you are logical the punishment for not doing homework is a bad grade. No need for you to repunish. I guess I would ask myself is punishing him fornot doing homework making it easier or harder to attach? Your job is the relationship building.
Usually punishmenets that are added on to logical consequences interfere with attachment.

]]> By: bignateswife http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle/comment-page-1#comment-1809 bignateswife Thu, 16 Oct 2008 11:20:06 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/09/30/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle#comment-1809 Our son has RAD and several other diagnoses that I disagree with. He is 12 years old and spent 11 of his years in and out of foster care. We finalized his adoption this past July. He struggled so much with school and we can totally relate to the issues surrounding homework and fighting to get him to realize his own potential. Our solution has been to pull him from school and homeschool him. Now, I know this is not a realistic or even smart idea for many kids and for many parents but I thought I would share our successes. Our son, T, has done miraculously well with homeschooling. He thrives with the attention paid to each lesson. It really is a bonding time for us each day and he is learning so quickly. In public school he was confined to the resource room because of his behaviors (many and varied). He felt like everyone thought he was stupid and couldn't do the work. I felt like they thought that too. I tried to address the issues with no luck, so we pulled him. He has gone from barely reading at all to reading whole books on his own in just one semester's time. We still battle with his self esteem and the constant nagging voice in his head telling him he isn't smart enough or good enough but now when that monster rears it's ugly head, we can address it immediately and then follow it up with an educational success, confirming that the voice is wrong. Often, I struggle with being with T 24/7 but I always come back to the major success I'm seeing and decide to stay the course. Our second son is nine and is moving in at the end of December. One of the things he is most excited about in our home is that he will be able to homeschool. I think he is excited that someone wants to spend that much time with him. I think they both are. As for socialization, we live in Wichita and have a great homeschool community. T plays soccer, basketball and runs track. There is a robotics team that teaches engineering and builds robots that compete each spring. T goes to church and to AWANA and he is quite close to our cousin's kids, all of whom are homeschooled. He is not lacking in social interaction and is learning to interact with people of all ages. He volunteers with me at the church and at a local thrift shop in the inner city. He is actually excited about the upcoming election and watches the debates with us. This is from a child who, six months ago, refused to read a 3rd grade level reader. Homeschooling has been an amazing gift for everyone in our family.<br /> <br /> Sorry for the length! Our son has RAD and several other diagnoses that I disagree with. He is 12 years old and spent 11 of his years in and out of foster care. We finalized his adoption this past July. He struggled so much with school and we can totally relate to the issues surrounding homework and fighting to get him to realize his own potential. Our solution has been to pull him from school and homeschool him. Now, I know this is not a realistic or even smart idea for many kids and for many parents but I thought I would share our successes. Our son, T, has done miraculously well with homeschooling. He thrives with the attention paid to each lesson. It really is a bonding time for us each day and he is learning so quickly. In public school he was confined to the resource room because of his behaviors (many and varied). He felt like everyone thought he was stupid and couldn’t do the work. I felt like they thought that too. I tried to address the issues with no luck, so we pulled him. He has gone from barely reading at all to reading whole books on his own in just one semester’s time. We still battle with his self esteem and the constant nagging voice in his head telling him he isn’t smart enough or good enough but now when that monster rears it’s ugly head, we can address it immediately and then follow it up with an educational success, confirming that the voice is wrong. Often, I struggle with being with T 24/7 but I always come back to the major success I’m seeing and decide to stay the course. Our second son is nine and is moving in at the end of December. One of the things he is most excited about in our home is that he will be able to homeschool. I think he is excited that someone wants to spend that much time with him. I think they both are. As for socialization, we live in Wichita and have a great homeschool community. T plays soccer, basketball and runs track. There is a robotics team that teaches engineering and builds robots that compete each spring. T goes to church and to AWANA and he is quite close to our cousin’s kids, all of whom are homeschooled. He is not lacking in social interaction and is learning to interact with people of all ages. He volunteers with me at the church and at a local thrift shop in the inner city. He is actually excited about the upcoming election and watches the debates with us. This is from a child who, six months ago, refused to read a 3rd grade level reader. Homeschooling has been an amazing gift for everyone in our family.

Sorry for the length!

]]> By: dcorreia http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle/comment-page-1#comment-1808 dcorreia Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:21:17 +0000 http://reactive-att.www.adoptionblogs.com/2008/09/30/stepping-out-of-the-school-battle#comment-1808 My child has been diagnosed with RAD and I am going through the hoemwork battle with her. After several years of arguing with her about her grades and responsibility in school I have finally realized it will not change her attitude and stance on not doing her homework. My psychologist, however, is recommending I continue with the punishsment for not doing her homework but not to force her to do it. After reading your blog I can sympathize with your decision to not make it a battle at home. I wouls appreciate any more advis on this. Thank You My child has been diagnosed with RAD and I am going through the hoemwork battle with her. After several years of arguing with her about her grades and responsibility in school I have finally realized it will not change her attitude and stance on not doing her homework. My psychologist, however, is recommending I continue with the punishsment for not doing her homework but not to force her to do it. After reading your blog I can sympathize with your decision to not make it a battle at home. I wouls appreciate any more advis on this. Thank You

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