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I was walking yet again with my dogs yesterday. Reilly has OCD when it comes to tennis balls, but we don’t take tennis balls on our walks. So she substitutes sticks, leaves, and the occasional neighbor’s newspaper (I’ve taught her to bring in our newspaper every morning) instead. Yesterday she found a 12 inch long piece of broken PVC pipe, and decided to bring it to me… but she ended up poking her mouth instead. Other than the quick jerk when the accident happened she registered very little reaction, but she started to bleed like a stuck pig! Immediately her mouth was covered in blood. I was about three-quarters of a mile from my home and with few choices other than to just keep an eye on her.
Initially I made her come and walk next to me instead of racing back and forth like she prefers. When I felt her mouth was no longer actively bleeding, I released her and let her run again. But by that time, my tennis shoes and her front legs and chest were covered with a fine spray of blood. Soon after that we met another walker with her little schnauzer, and I wondered if she noticed my wounded dog? Certainly my dog gave no indication that anything was amiss.
Reilly is from hardy stock, with lots of adrenalin, a powerful work ethic and drive, and a very sunny, “life is good” attitude. Her wound barely registered on her, and it certainly didn’t slow her down at all. But she looked like she was going to die momentarily based on the spatter on her legs and her literally blood-red mouth—oh and the wheezing noise from blood in her nasal passages!!
Why is it some of our kids can BE so wounded and still surge forward into life and make the most awesome lemonade out of lemons, while others can (relatively speaking) get a bruised knee and never walk again? Certainly I think the kind of first aid we apply is significant—but that is hardly the whole piece. The more I learn on this journey, the more I come to realize that the child’s willingness to step forward and risk loving again—the child’s desire for an intimate relationship—has so much to do with the eventual outcome. So what determines the degree of desire on the child’s part? Genetics? Presence or absence of other mental health issues? Degree of trauma prior to placement? (See Julie’s blog this morning.) Where the moon is in the sky? Who knows? But I sure think it matters.
