The things I most remember about Amy early on were how controlling she was, how passive aggressive she was, and how shut down she was. Her eyes would just glaze over and you couldn’t touch her emotionally. She couldn’t selectively filter out what she didn’t want to feel so she shut down her emotions across the board.


No matter what we did, she found a reason to not like it or to complain. The week Tommy joined us, when Amy was 4, we went to Leaps & Bounds, a play area, and she didn’t like that (“too bumpy”); we went to see Free Willy, the movie, and she didn’t like that (“too long”); we went to a county fair and she fussed about that ("too scary"); and lastly we went swimming at our neighbors and she hated that (she never liked swimming, as she can’t manipulate the water—she just had to DO something)… so she finally ended up at home in her room sulking.


She would go to bed at 8 PM and her bed would be soaked at 8:30 PM. Of course, we had her use the bathroom before bed. It was purely “peeing out her mad”. She was 5 or 6 years old at this point. So finally one night I had her strip the sheets and remake the bed herself. She screamed bloody murder and instead chose to sleep on the floor on wet sheets piled in a heap. She awoke the next morning, screamed another hour or two, and then made her bed.


Her hygiene was always bad… she didn’t take care of herself at all. She never participated in birthday or Christmas celebrations, even though she was repeatedly on the receiving end of those holidays. She hated physical exercise. She always, always lied to us, even when telling the truth would have been easier. She had no friends and no relationships with any depth, including the family. She struggled in school because she was completely unmotivated and spent more time manipulating than working. (She gets great grades when she does her work.) Sometimes she didn't actively manipulate... she just always played the "poor pitiful me" trump card, and folks always fell for it.


To be continued...