Kelly and I had lunch today with my friend Kathy. Kathy was one of three other moms who had a hand in starting ATN. Kathy’s contribution was by far the most significant of the three. (She's wearing the blue shorts.) Kathy was the worker behind the scenes. She mailed out lots of informational packets and helped develop our fledgling database.


I was connected with her through our therapist who had always wanted to get a local support group going. One of the other two moms, "Linda", was also using the same therapist for her son.


The last mom, Sue, was a gal I met while sitting in the waiting area of a play therapist’s office. Of course, our kids were getting nowhere, but Sue and I connected big time! Sue’s daughter, Stephanie, was one of the most damaged kids I have ever seen. She was a “failure to thrive” child that came to Sue’s family somewhere around the age of 16 months or so. When Stephanie was about 11, Sue was successful in getting the state to take her back. The judge acknowledged that Sue and her husband had done everything and then some. It was highly unusual for the state to do that … but Stephanie was, well, unique. While in residential care, she was “sub-Level 1.” She didn’t even aspire to the most basic of privileges. I’ll tell one of my favorite Stephanie stories in a later post …


Anyway, Kathy, Sue, Linda and I were the Four Musketeers. I am the last one standing. Kathy was parenting “Bob” and “Mary”. They were siblings that came to Kathy’s family at ages 5 and 8 respectively. They are now 27 and 30. Bob just got himself incarcerated in yet another psych hospital, but this one in a far-away state after he traveled there to see Mary. Mary just went AWOL in March from a five year relationship (not married) after concocting a story about meeting her family in West Virginia. Her 10 year old daughter is with her. (She gave her son to his bio dad after his birth years ago.) No one has heard from her in several months. Kathy and her husband also have a son a little older than Beth, who came to them as an infant. He is well attached and in an open adoption and they are enjoying him immensely.


Kathy said she and her husband read all the information in the newspaper about Edwin Hall and thought “That could be us.” Bob is a big guy and when he gets angry he gets very aggressive.


Kathy is not active with ATN now because she simply wants to enjoy their little boy and put all the attachment stuff behind her. I understand.


Sue did the same thing immediately after returning Stephanie to the state.


Linda has two adopted sons, both of whom have given her a real run for her money. She still lives in town and still is dealing with her boys and their issues.


It was wonderful to see Kathy. She was a huge help to my family, as she provided extended respite for both Tommy and Amy. If you read My Story (Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five), Kathy is the friend who made it possible for us to try reintegrating Tommy into our family.


Good friends are invaluable on this journey …


The t-shirts we are wearing in the picture say, This mom deserves a night out with the girls! The picture was taken in July of 1999.