I am near the end of a series of posts discussing why it is we assume this parental responsibility. What is it we are to learn from this journey? I began by discussing God’s command to Ezekiel in the Old Testament. God wanted Ezekiel to be a prophet among the Israelites, and Ezekiel was to use as his measure of success the fact that he was doing what God told him to do—not the result of his efforts to impact the Israelites.


I asked my Bible scholar daughter, Stephanie, if Ezekiel had a family? When Ezekiel was doing God’s work, and it wasn’t going as he had hoped, was his family struggling along with him? Stephanie said he was married, so in all probability he had children as well. Did they suffer when he suffered doing as God commanded him to do? Did you know that Ezekiel's name means God will strengthen?


In one of my conversations with Deb Hannah about her personal family story, she shared with me that Charlie, the fifth out of five adopted children to blow out of her home after years of parental effort, returned to his biological family the day before one of her biological children graduated from college. Of course, the family was devastated, and their emotional pain was fresh on a day that should have been marked only by joy. Deb told me her daughter said, “It started when I went to college, and it ended when I graduated.” Her daughter was referring to the fact that Charlie’s siblings started the worst of the havoc on the family four years ago by generating abuse allegations and running away from home.


Some of Deb’s greatest pain comes from wondering how her and her husband’s decision to foster and adopt affected her biological children. Her husband spent a brief period of time in foster care and had a very positive experience. He wanted to “pay it forward.” He is completely devastated by how their experience unfolded.


I asked Stephanie how she felt about this. How does she view her childhood? I’ll share her thoughts with you in the next post.


Check out this article about how it is OK for parents to parent each child differently, according to each child's individual needs.


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