In my previous blog, I wrote about five boys who were successfully “incorporated” into a wealthy white family (the Rosen’s) in an “unofficial adoption” capacity. All the boys absorbed the messages given by the Rosen’s, went on to attend college and are more solid citizens because of the influence of these people. I asked the question, why does this work for some kids, even when it is “part time” and “unofficial” when it doesn’t work for other kids who are officially adopted and live with their adoptive parents full time?


I have long maintained there are three major factors: genetics, environment, and choices. Let’s start by looking at environment.


I believe these five boys got enough positive messages during their time in utero and their first few years of life that they were able to incorporate the positive influences of the Rosen’s. While their home lives were chaotic and dangerous, I believe their biological parents still loved them and some way, some how the boys were able to develop some sense of self as a result of the environment provided by their biological parents. Because of the establishment of some sort of foundation, the boys were able to progress through all the developmental stages of life and incorporate the lessons of the Rosen family.


What about genetics? And choices? They are quite interrelated in my opinion. Note that in the article, about a dozen boys made that first visit to the Rosen home. Only five became regular visitors. What was it about them that they hungered for what the Rosen’s offered? What made them choose to continue to return to an environment where, although good things were offered, there was also accountability? Did their genetic makeup contribute to their willingness to “put themselves out”? Were they genetically programmed to be more willing to “take a risk”? Were their genetics a factor in their ability to focus on the positive messages that had existed in their chaotic families of origin, rather than internalize anger and negativity because of their circumstances? I think so… what do you think?


Choices, genetics and environment… they are all part of the equation. Here's an interesting tidbit from someone who thinks the same thing...


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