Today was a solid advocate for attachment kind of day. I could barely drag myself out of bed, thanks to the lingering and powerful effects of the muscle relaxant I ingested last night. I spent the morning making more phone calls and networking on behalf of the conference in August.


I had a late lunch with a gentleman I connected with as a result of a phone call to Hallmark, requesting donations for the conference. Hallmark referred me to Heart to Heart International, and it was there that I found Eric.


Eric is a delightful man, a perfect gentleman, and most importantly, passionate about kids with issues! He’s a therapist, and at one point he taught at a private school that consisted of kids who didn’t make it in the inner city public schools. Did you get what I just said? Kids who didn’t make it in the inner city public schools. In Eric’s words, they were “the worst of the worst.” Eric has had several jobs from what I gathered, and one of them was as a personal trainer. He’s built like a locomotive, so I doubt those inner city kids blew him too much smoke. But still … he said he left after three years because it was getting too crazy … the little girls flirting and the rampant pathology that was endemic. I’m excited because Eric is going to help ATN find some real funding.


After my late lunch, I actually devoted a few minutes to my family and got groceries, and then shuttled Beth to swim practice. After dropping her off at the pool, I headed for a support group meeting where the topic was “Older child adoption.” The meeting was facilitated by one of Amy’s many former therapists. There were only two couples in attendance besides me. Both were preadoptive parents. One couple had three incredibly cute and incredibly well-behaved kids, ages 9, 7 and 5. The other couple were currently childless.


The couple with kids is apparently in the works for a 14 year old girl! And the childless couple is getting a 5-6 year old girl and 2-3 year old boy. All the kids are coming from Eastern Europe.


I learned of this meeting through an email sent to all members of the Metropolitan Adoption Council. The meeting was held at the office of the social worker who placed the child in my home that disrupted. She was not in attendance tonight. The two couples were adopting through this agency, thus they were attending this support group meeting at that agency.


It wasn’t my meeting to facilitate, and I was unquestionably a surprise attendee, so although it was incredibly hard, for all practical purposes I didn’t say much. But I can’t say I agreed with some of the advice that was given.


For that matter, I most definitely have some strong opinions about bringing home a 14 year old from EE and putting her in a home with three thus-far untraumatized very young kids!


The mom who was getting the two younger kids asked point-blank if she should give up on the idea of going back to work. I would have said “Yes!” But I wasn’t asked …


I left both couples with two different issues of ATN's newsletter, a business card and info about the conference. I hope they come.


What do you all think about adding a teen girl to the family with three young kids? Or the concept of a mom working three days full time after using all her family leave time on traveling to bring home two very young kids?


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