In the past few blogs, I have been sharing with you my family’s foray into the possibility of another adoption … a child disrupting from another family.


I mentioned in this post about Tyler, a young man from the Ukraine who spent 3 months with us before I found him the perfect placement … where he is thriving, enjoying his Ukrainian big brother and other multi-ethnic sibs, and learning what operating in a family is all about. We are pursuing this placement in the same manner. Beth, Stephanie and I will meet this child in the near future, and if there are no surprises—nothing that is incongruous from the opinions I have formed based on written information, phone calls and emails—we will move forward with a “trial run”. Of course, we would never take the situation to that extent if we were not reasonably optimistic that it has a high probability of being a “good fit” for all. This isn’t about jerking kids around or moving kids unnecessarily. Our assessment period will be long enough to really get a handle on what this child needs and whether or not we are the ones to best meet those needs. If that is not the case, as it was with Tyler, I will have a far better handle on what type of family is needed to adequately nurture and raise this child. This is not unlike a child spending a period of time in therapeutic respite care prior to returning home or moving on to a better prepared, better supported family.


I have already made inquiries at the school that this child would attend, and no doors closed there. That was one of the big issues and one of the many doors that stayed open! We would most likely do this placement somewhat unofficially for at least six months, giving us time to update our homestudy in the event that we finalize the placement. This also allows enough time for many honeymooning behaviors to subside.


Although I have provided no identifying information about this child, and will continue to keep that private, I can assure you we are not breaking any of the cardinal rules of placement, including twinning and disrupting birth order. And that’s all I will say about that!


Many of you have asked Beth’s reaction to this news, and I will expound upon that next.


The Effects of Adoptive Family Composition on Outcomes for Children


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