Continued from here ...

As Beth and I continued plowing through her emotions, I stated once again that grief and loss is a journey, not a destination. (Thanks to Faith for that great phrase!) I told Beth she would be processing that loss throughout her lifetime, and in different ways through each of her ages and stages. I said she had matured a great deal in the past year and she was able to understand things in a different way than she had understood them in the past.


We talked about my friend Karen who recently gave birth to her first child. Karen’s mom died when Karen was about Beth’s age. Giving birth to her daughter was a bittersweet time for Karen. Karen’s sister Katie (who has four children) had already experienced how the loss of their mother had influenced her, and she prepared Karen for the inevitable feelings that would come.


More than once I have used my good friend’s experiences as examples to Beth of different kinds of loss … and yet similar, too. Loss is loss … and it is not unique to adoption.


I told Beth that Katie could not protect Karen from feeling the pain of the loss of their mother, but Katie could prepare and support Karen during that difficult time. I promised Beth I would do the same for her. And it is my fervent hope that Beth and Dora can develop the kind of relationship that allows them to support each other as they mature and face these life experiences.


We concluded our second night in a row of deep conversation, and I kissed Beth goodnight. By this time, Dora was asleep. I don’t know what Dora heard and what she didn’t, but I am sure she is working overtime to process what Beth is thinking and feeling, as well as why and how Beth “lets it rip” as frequently and as unabashedly as she does.


For the second night in a row, I went to bed completely wiped out.

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