Reactive Attachment Disorder, RAD Blog - Toto, we ARE in Kansas now!

11/30/06

Toto, we ARE in Kansas now!

Posted by : Nancy Spoolstra in Reactive Attachment Disorder Blog at 04:21 pm , 452 words, 101 views
Categories: Support, Understanding attachment

Well, Toto, I can tell we are back in Kansas. When we lived in Illinois, it took completely burying the city in snow for them to even consider cancelling school. Here in sunny Kansas, where tornadoes cause nary a backwards glance, snow can shut down life rather quickly!

We did have an impressive ice storm yesterday, followed by a forecast of up to a foot of snow. I don’t know how bad the roads were this morning, but I do know my husband made it the forty-some miles to the airport in time for a 6 AM flight. I’m not sure if school was closed in anticipation of the snow that started falling a couple of hours ago, or because of ice already on the roads. At any rate, they have already called it off for tomorrow as well.

We are supposed to load up and head north to Minnesota tomorrow to see Stephanie for her birthday weekend. A quick check of the interstate map shows we should be fine once we are north of KC.

SPONSOR

I spent some time today talking to a mom with a newly adopted preschool daughter. This little girl came from Russia and has many of the classic signs of attachment issues. Same song, same story. Mom doesn’t understand the rudiments of attachment issues and how that manifests in attachment avoidant behaviors. (Because, of course, that was likely omitted from her "pre-adoption preparation"...) Mom was confused by daughter’s willingness to sit forever in time out. Mom was unhappy about daughter’s amazing ability to charm dad and all other humanoids while being horrible to mom.

As I was listening to this mom vent, I once again thought about the APSAC report and the Delaney article I blogged about previously. I need to get back to that, because this mom was just like all those other moms who say all the very same things, and yet those two aforementioned articles keep talking about how we are making this all up and we don’t parent correctly and we just need to tune in to our kids better. Bah Humbug! How can so many moms be making the same things up?

I mentioned a couple of blogs ago that I tore up some old adoption magazines and found some interesting blog material. Some of it talks about the same attachment/holding/parenting stuff… about 8 years ago. It is verrrrryyyy interesting. Some of it has been watered down (today, as opposed to back then), and some hasn’t changed at all (meaning nothing has improved). Little has gotten better from what I can tell… but I’ll sift through them and report back. Stay tuned!

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5 comments

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Comment from: T-N-T [Member]

My Wife and another RAD mom, who is very active with our local DSS here in NC, have been meeting to develop a stradegy to approach DSS about how to adequately prepare those who seek to adopt "at risk" kid's.

"At risk" is a very general term and needs to be adressed more in depth during training for Foster/Adoptive parents.

It will be interesting to see how willing they will be to implement any of the suggestions.

Of course I am very cynical about their response.

Side note- Are you familiar with DR. Bill Goble? We are attending a seminar of his tommorrow.

Permalink 11/30/06 @ 17:57

Comment from: Nancy Spoolstra [Member]

· http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/

Dr. Bill is awesome and PLEASE tell him hello for me. I have the utmost respect for him. Haven't talked to him in awhile as he was on sabbatical and not around as much. You will learn a lot from a very gentle and nurturing man.

Permalink 11/30/06 @ 18:09

Comment from: T-N-T [Member]

Thanks,

Its actualy the second seminar of his that we have been able to attend.

The first was several years ago when adopted our first RAD boy, yes I said first.

I will tell him "hello" if I get the oppourtunity.

Permalink 11/30/06 @ 20:02

Comment from: T-N-T [Member]

When I said hello to you from DR G. he got a big smile on his face and said how he had not heard from you in a couple years. He told me to pass on his hello.

He just returned from a conference in Ireland.

AS we expected Dr. Gobles
presentaion was excellent.

Most of the info he passed on re-enforced what we have learned over the past five years.

We met some more area RAD parents and hope to get a group together.

What impressed/suprised me the most was the number of social workers who attended. Most of the "head honchos" from DSS were there and several area lawyers who my wife and I remember seeing in family court while fostering and even the family court judge!

The room was packed with over a hundred people, they only expected around half that!

So hopefully RAD will stay on the radar screen for some time, but I'm not holding my breath.

One of the organizers asked us if we would be interested in being interviewed by the local paper for a story on RAD.

That should be interesting.

Several people signed up to begin a committee on how to deal with RAD on a community support level.

On a personal note Dr.G confirmed our fear that multiple RADs do not heal well together.

He gave us some info about other therapists who could help and suggested a quantitative EEG done for both boys, something we have been trying to do for some time.

We enjoyed the experience and if any here ever have an oppourtunity to attend a seminar, take it!

Permalink 12/02/06 @ 06:52

Comment from: Nancy Spoolstra [Member]

· http://attachment-disorder.adoptionblogs.com/

What a great report, thanks! I appreciate the return hello from Dr. Bill as well.

Permalink 12/02/06 @ 21:26

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