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Transitions are so hard for our kids. They have been through so many of them and just when they get used to a routine, things change again. Even when the change is a good thing, it is still upsetting for our kids.
I work a seasonal job, and one of the women I work with has two children with Fragile X Syndrome. While I don’t fully understand the disorder that her children have, I can empathize with the struggles that she is having with the school system in regards to her daughter.
Her daughter has a new teacher and the teacher is fresh out of college. There is nothing wrong with that, but the teacher has been undergoing some training, which has taken her out of the classroom quite a bit. If you have a child with RAD or other special needs, you know what a change in teachers, even for one day can do to a child and how it affects their behaviors in addition to their ability to learn.
My son is preparing to go through a transition now and showing that he is scared in the way that he usually handles things. Sammy has been in his current residential placement since March. He has stabilized, which he usually does in residential, so they are getting ready to move him to a less restrictive placement. We do not have an exact date when this move is going to happen so there is uncertainty on that end, along with uncertainty of the placement itself. While the move should be seen as a good thing from the child’s viewpoint since it is less restrictive, the fear is too much.
Sammy’s way of handling fear is to act out. We have seen this pattern with each and every change in placement that he has had. If he knows the change is coming, he works very hard to make the move happen on his terms, which means he ramps up his behaviors so that he controls when he moves. In addition, he lashes out at me during these times of the unknown.
Over the weekend, Sammy did something. We’re not exactly sure what he did but it couldn’t be good because he received two days restriction at the center. In the past he has received an hour, or a few hours, but never this much even when he was first placed there. As is also his pattern, he claims no responsibility for his actions. According to his report to us, some of the boys that he was working with reported that he had a bad attitude. A bad attitude alone would not have earned him two days of restriction, but he is not willing to own up to whatever it is he did.
For our kids any kind of transition is scary. How they handle it will vary from child to child but for many of them it will be with negative behaviors. Keeping a journal or record of your child’s behaviors can help you to see patterns and possibly head them off. If you can give your child the words to express the feelings they have, or simply tell the child what you know they are feeling it can help to diminish some of the behaviors.
