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I mentioned in this post how I managed to find a few hours one weekend to read a book. The book I read was Crisis, Pursued by Disaster, Followed Closely by Catastrophe: A Memoir of Life on the Run. I blogged about it shortly after I finished reading it.
Imagine my surprise to receive an email from the author, Mike O’Connor, a couple of days later! He had stumbled upon my blog and read my review. He stated that he was “impressed by the wisdom and depth of (my) reflections on the book.” It is certainly true that living day in and day out with trust issues can provide more depth than any of us would prefer!
I thought it would be fun to interview him for the blog, and so I did. He and his wife are currently living in Rome. They moved there because his wife is a reporter for the LA Times, and southern Europe is her “beat.” Mike said, “The Pope was the guy to cover, and I knew I could not finish this book wherever I went, so we moved to Rome!” (Eventually, of course, he finished the book!)
We arranged a time to talk (there is a significant time difference involved) and he called me. One of the first comments he made was that it never occurred to him that someone involved in the adoption of children would find the book interesting. Now he understands that trust issues are part of adoption. He said he really didn’t envision who would be reading the book … he wrote it as much for himself as anyone else. I understand that completely, as that is a large part of what drives my writing.
We talked about trust … the underpinning of every good relationship. Mike said trust was an unusual thing, because on the one hand, he did trust his parents, but on the other hand, he knew they were lying to him. He decided to believe them anyway. He felt as if he didn’t have any other choice, because it was easier to believe them than call them liars.
Next, I asked:
How did your childhood influence your ability to form trusting relationships?
It made it more difficult. I didn’t realize it for awhile, though. In journalism, a good journalist doesn’t trust anyone in an official capacity. Not completely. There’s a saying that you have to double check on everything. If your mother says she loves you, check it out. Don’t take anything for granted, even from sources you “trust.” I didn’t take things at their obvious and checked out everything. That’s because I wasn’t sure of anything. My past made me a better journalist but more of a troubled human being. When you read the paper in the morning you want to believe whatever is in there is accurate, because someone checked it out. Assume the person is not necessarily deceiving you but not necessarily correct either.
More coming from Mike …
Photo courtesy of Mike O’Connor
