As I mentioned in my previous blog, last Friday night I enjoyed the company of a dozen other folks who live with and love kids with serious attachment issues. We met at a restaurant in Gurnee, Illinois. As I looked around the table at the folks that had gathered, I marveled at the realization that it was because of ATN that we were gathered together. How cool is that? I am thrilled that my little grass-roots effort has expanded to the magnitude it is today. Of course, without the help of many folks we wouldn’t have made it this far.


It was a reminder to me of how we all crave the company of others who are living parallel lives. All the people who gathered have stressful and busy lives, yet they took time to meet face-to-face and receive the support and encouragement that only another “RAD parent” could provide. Another dinner will soon occur in Atlanta.


Several of the parents have already made plans to attend ATN’s second annual conference in August. Those who attended last year’s inaugural conference raved about the supportive atmosphere and stated they had never been to a conference before that was so parent-oriented and parent-friendly.


Parenting traumatized children is a long, hard, discouraging and difficult road. It can be overwhelming when you have all the support in the world—to do it isolated and alone is nearly impossible.


If you are walking this path alone, with no one to support and encourage you, reach out for some help. If nothing else, join one of ATN's list serves. It is free and accessible 24 hours a day. While I hope this blog gives you a sense of connection and helps you to realize you are not alone, there is more support available.


And while I am on the subject of this blog, I would love some feedback on what you want to read about. My primary focus is this: I write about the things I think about relative to parenting children who are not relational and not reciprocal in the way I had hoped they would be. I don’t think I am the only one who examines other relationships and other scenarios and asks myself questions about how that parallels my life and how it differs. (Like the kids mentioned in this blog.) I have repeatedly been told that I write about what others think about or wonder about but are afraid to acknowledge or unable to articulate completely. I attempt to write something in this blog on a regular basis that assures the reader that he or she is not the only one thinking those thoughts or struggling with those feelings. To me, that daily or frequent dose of support is perhaps the most valuable resource I can offer. I don’t have magic answers for you, and I struggle with all the same challenges, disappointments and negative reactions. But I have learned from all the parents I have met that my feelings and my reactions are not isolated and unusual responses. They are normal… and yours are normal too. Ignoring them or denying them does not make them go away.


I have come to believe relationships are at the very core of nearly all aspects of our lives and I no longer take that fact for granted. So it is only natural that I analyze everything in terms of “how does that person relate to others?" And “what does this situation teach me about relationships, serving others, and how I might best respond?” The conclusions I draw are what I quite often write about… but would you rather I be doing more “How to’s” or “Check out this website” stuff? Because I can… but when I was in the trenches, what I most wanted was validation of my feelings and support while I slogged through each day…


Feedback please!

Photo Credit: Kelly Killian's camera and waitress assistance at Olive Garden!