I am sitting at my parent’s home awaiting a bacon, eggs and potatoes breakfast made by my dad. That is his specialty and one of the counted on perks of visiting them in Colorado.


We traveled late into the night on Friday night and arrived in Denver, meeting Kyle and Marie at the hotel. We arrived in Estes Park by lunch time on Saturday. We had a great time at a craft fair Saturday afternoon and the girls and I all got tie-dyed sweatshirts. I also spent too much money at a bead booth, buying great things for now and for some early Christmas shopping.


The girls have a mercurial relationship. They had a ton of fun throwing rocks into the Big Thompson river right in front of my parent’s home. But both have to make significant adjustments in their lives, so eventually one or the other disintegrates. It is especially problematic when we all are very tired.


Dora started to implode last night around dinner time. She somewhat rallied by bedtime, but not before we dealt with some grief and anger. She went to bed in a slightly better mood and I prepared to rock Beth. Kyle and Marie had recently returned from Kenya where they spent three weeks on a mission trip. My parents had been to Kenya in 1980, so my Dad thought Kyle and Marie would enjoy seeing his pictures from way back then. As he was setting up the slide projector, Beth indicated she was struggling emotionally as well. She and I holed up in my mom’s rocking chair where she let it rip. I had to encourage her to keep a lid on it somewhat as it really upsets my folks.


She was feeling jealous, angry, lonely, sad, and just about any other emotion you can name. We talked for at least 45 minutes and she cried and cried and cried. She repeated “I love you, Mommy!” at least 50 times. I did, too. She felt guilty for “stressing” me when I had Dora to deal with. For the umpteenth time, I reassured her that I was there for her as well as there for Dora. I reassured her that her feelings were just as important and deserved just as much support. I also encouraged her to try and understand why Dora responded to certain things the way she did, and to learn from the experience. I encouraged Beth to ask herself why she was responding in a certain way, and try and just analyze everyone’s input. However, I reiterated that her feelings were whatever they were, and she shouldn’t deny the way she was feeling. Because Beth is so healthy emotionally, she was shocked to realize how much impact Dora’s issues were having on her own feelings. She feels vulnerable and not in control of her feelings, and she doesn’t like it. I assured her that her feelings were normal, and her feelings about her feelings were normal!


After our rocking session, Beth flashed me a big smile and said, "I feel MUCH better now! I really needed to have that cry!" She went off to bed much happier. I joined my parents and the rest of my family just in time to see the last slide appear on the screen. The story of my life. Last night was one of those nights when I could have used those hugs you all offered. I was emotionally wiped out.


Today we are off to drive up Trail Ridge Road and then ride Go-Karts this afternoon … Both adventures are traditions in our family.