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My dad is a dedicated letter writer, and I guess I am carrying on the family tradition. My dad writes letters when someone needs a swat on the rear OR a pat on the back! So, I try to write the “Atta boy” letters as often as I write the “You messed up” letters.
Today I wrote a “You REALLY messed up” letter to a residential treatment facility, and I thought I would share it with you. All the names are changed to protect the innocent and the not-so-innocent…
I am writing on behalf of Lucy, mother of Robert, a recent resident of your facility.
It is my understanding, gleaned from conversations with Lucy and communications with her son’s community therapist, Joe Smith, that at least two therapists in your facility were concerned that Robert posed a danger to his mother, and perhaps to the community at large. They clearly recommended that Robert not be allowed to return home. I am personally aware of Robert’s repeated attempts to harm his mother prior to his removal from the family home. How unfortunate (and certainly thought-provoking) that the two therapists who realized this young man’s pathology are no longer employed at your facility.
What I find incomprehensible, however, is the inclusion of this statement in the last RTC report for Robert:
“The mother continues to be unreasonable in her approach to this child. Before he returns home he must show satisfactory proof, judged by her, that he has changed. It seems as if this task would prove impossible to the founding prophets of all the worlds’ major religions and certainly to this resident.”
I cannot imagine that it would be hard to understand why Lucy is unwilling to have this child back in her home. How can it possibly be unreasonable for her to require satisfactory proof, as judged by her (the defined target of his pathology) that he has changed?
Considering that this callous and completely inappropriate statement is documented in your facility’s paperwork, I wonder if you have considered the legal ramifications to you should Robert decide to act upon his thoughts. Parents of children like Robert need support, validation and encouragement, not platitudes and ignorant, dismissive comments. How sad for everyone involved.
I am not optimistic it will have much impact… but it was worth a try.
From how Lucy has described happenings at this facility, I think your letter is PUTTING IT MILDLY at least… But I am so happy that you are speaking out for her. I hope this particular RTC gets to go out of business or gets to have somebody “normal” hired for their staff.
I am so happy this letter got a response! You go girl!!!