As I mentioned in a few previous blogs, I am in regular communication these days with Deborah Hannah, author of An Unlit Path. I want to share with you some of our recent conversations. I have been struggling with how to present this. I want to just start typing and let it flow from my fingertips, but there are a couple of things stopping me.


First, I hesitate to “spill the beans” on her book, but I suspect I might end up doing just that. So if you want to read the book before you continue to read this post, now would be the time.


Second, this is going to be “heavy” stuff. What I am going to share will be depressing—in the truest sense of the word. Reality … but not an uplifting reality. This will be a few posts about how we should be viewing our efforts (we including me) not necessarily about how we actually feel about our role as parents. And there will be a significant spiritual component to it, so if that is a problem, now would be a good time to bail…


So here goes … I posed the question, What is the purpose of our parenting? From a non-spiritual base, I would probably answer that by saying most people become parents because they want to share their values, their lives, their successes with a child or children. They want to leave a legacy. They envision a reciprocal relationship that will require significant effort but presumably reap significant reward. I can’t imagine that many people (other than perhaps Mother Theresa) enter into this relationship expecting it to be all out-go and no in-put. But what about Mother Theresa? Didn’t she derive great satisfaction from serving, and serving, and serving some more? That was her input … the satisfaction she felt when she served others.


I mentioned in this post about the wedding ceremony I recently attended. The minister admonished the young couple, “If you don’t know what else to do, serve.”


And Patricia unknowingly provided me with the perfect segway for this topic by mentioning Ezekiel in the Old Testament. God sent Ezekiel to be a prophet to the Israelites. God told Ezekiel that his job was to do as God asked … and his success would not necessarily be measured by whether or not the Israelites listened. Ezekiel’s success was measured by how willingly and successfully he did what God asked of him. That is a tough concept for a human being to comprehend—at least it is for me.


I am very driven and very goal oriented. I want to see what I consider to be measurements of success. While I can intellectually wrap my brain around the concept that success might simply be that I kept my child safe for 18 years, that is not what I had in mind as my definition of parenting success.


I need to view my “job” as that which God directed me to do. I did what He asked (by serving the least, the last and the lost) and that should provide me with the sense of a job well done. But to say I am struggling with this being “enough” is a huge understatement.


Next up I’ll share with you some of Deb Hannah’s thoughts on this topic, and why she has every right to struggle with this as well.


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