I spent the day dealing with Hurricane Dora, who is dead tired (as we all are) from the conference; processing the aftermath of four hours of intense therapy; and probably starting to emerge from a honeymoon phase. The plan was for her to go to the Chiefs game today with Beth and my husband, but Dora was not football game material. She stayed with me and honed her passive/aggressive skills. I have to say, Dora is far easier (at least so far) than most kids I have experienced (or maybe my experience level is working in my favor) but still this is by no means easy. As I mentioned in my last post, I’m tired. I was supposed to get a day off today, but oh well.


I heard from Barbee, the Kansas mom I met on the plane on the way to the conference, that she attended a session at ATTACh that discussed ATTACh’s White Paper. ATTACh is writing a Parent Manual to accompany the White Paper (which is more geared towards clinicians.) Apparently there is something in the Parent Manual that mentions dissolutions (the more proper term for disruptions) and Barbee heard a discussion about removing that section from the Parent Manual. The explanation given for not discussing this topic was that addressing it or acknowledging it might put ideas in the parents’ minds that wouldn’t have occurred to them otherwise. The message that was preferred was that dissolution was not an option and shouldn’t even be mentioned.


ATN was founded on the principle that parents need and deserve support and resources, which includes knowledgeable, available, and realistic professionals who are willing to acknowledge the reality of the difficulties inherent in parenting traumatized children, and who support those parents in their struggles. It has been my platform all along that ignoring or denying our reality does nothing to help us be successful, or just survive the placement if that is the best we can do. I learned long ago in veterinary practice that I could be the most fabulous veterinarian on the planet, but if I wasn't successful in connecting with the owner of the pet, they wouldn't bring the pet back to me. If I couldn't treat the pet, it didn't matter how awesome my skills were! So it is with parents and therapists ... if they don't support and validate and appreciate us, we aren't going to return. Period!


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